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Escalator safety

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On Sunday it was Melbourne Open House Day. My Dad was REALLY EXCITED about the prospect of seeing old buildings that are usually closed off to the general public, and I accompanied my Dad and we explored a whole lot of dilapidated rooms, abandoned theatres, and so on and so forth.

However the real point of this entry is that we got off the train at Melbourne Central, and caught an escalator up from the station part to the shopping centre part. At the top of the escalator — just as you’re getting off — is a sign saying something about “escalator safety” and enlightening people about to how to avoid dying on them. Because you know, a lot of people find that very challenging. Apparently.

The reason the sign amused me, and why I bothered taking a mental note of it, is that it was at the TOP of the escalator. I mean, this is an upwards-going escalator, and it doesn’t change directions. Basically, the government cares about you enough to tell you about how to avoid killing yourself on an escalator, but not enough to tell you before your escalator journey is pretty much over.

My outlandish speculation is that they’re trying to maintain the illusion that they care (hence this helpful sign) while they’re actually trying to wipe out that segment of the population that is actually stupid enough to die in an accident because they didn’t understand “escalator safety”. Such a purge could benefit society (how much use are people that stupid going to be?), and if the government can still look like it cares, well, everybody wins!

Really, I have no idea why it’s placed there. Maybe it was actually supposed to be placed on the other side of the escalator (for the benefit of people going down) and the workman screwed up. But I like my theory better. It’s more amusing anyway.



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